Many executives still operate under the myth that great leaders shouldn’t show emotion. But emotions always show up — and whether you’re highly reactive or emotionally shut down, unmanaged emotion becomes a leadership blindspot. Blindspotting identifies five stages of emotional mastery that determine whether your emotions work for you or against you. Most leaders plateau at Stage 1 or 2. The best leaders learn to use emotional presence as strategic data.
Some executives act as if a good leader should be steady, stoic, and unfazed — a person who never lets feelings interfere with logic or performance.
But as Blindspotting: How to See What’s Holding You Back as a Leader explains, nothing could be further from the truth.
Emotions are not a liability. They’re data.
Leaders don't need to be less emotional than the rest of humanity. They just need to be aware of their emotional patterns and the impact those patterns have on:
Blindspotting author Martin Dubin is explicit about this:
emotions are the currency of relationships.
Leaders who treat emotion as dangerous or unnecessary are leading half-blind. Many even assume that their emotions don’t “count” if they don’t show them — but teams always feel their leader’s emotional presence, expressed or not.
And as the book notes, the real goal isn't becoming “more emotional” or “less emotional.” It’s achieving emotional sophistication — the ability to read the room, understand yourself, stay grounded, and use emotional presence intentionally.
This is where the five stages of emotional mastery become crucial.
These stages from Blindspotting's Five Stages of Emotional Mastery help leaders uncover emotional blindspots:
Some leaders experience a broad emotional range; others live in a narrow emotional spectrum (calm/stressed, fine/not fine).
Leaders with limited bandwidth often miss subtle emotional cues and assume others “shouldn’t be emotional,” creating blindspots in understanding human behavior.
This is your ability to recognize what you’re feeling as you’re feeling it.
If others notice your emotions before you do — or your tone surprises people — you’re likely missing this stage.
Regulation is the ability to control the expression of emotion, not the emotion itself.
Leaders strong in this stage pause before responding, modulate their tone, and stay grounded under pressure.
Weak regulation creates volatility and unpredictability — even when intentions are good.
People react emotionally even when they don’t say so.
This stage is about reading cues: facial expressions, tone shifts, hesitation, tension, anxiety.
A blindspot here means unintentionally creating disconnection, confusion, or intimidation.
At the highest level, leaders use emotion intentionally: to inspire, calm, energize, deepen trust, or motivate.
This is emotional sophistication — not more emotion or less emotion, but intentional emotion.
Most leaders excel in one or two of the above stages. Almost no one is naturally strong in all five.
That gap is the emotion blindspot.
These stories of Vincente and Kimball show how emotional blindspots derail even high-achieving leaders — one through emotional vacancy, the other through emotional volatility.
Vincente was polished, calm, and consistently composed — the kind of leader people respected on the surface.
But inside the company, something was missing.
Meetings felt flat. Real issues stayed buried. People quietly disengaged.
Vincente wasn’t harsh or aggressive; he was emotionally shallow, unable to read or respond to the emotional cues around him. His steady neutrality created distance. People felt unheard, unappreciated, and unsure of where they stood.
His blindspot: Vincente had emotional blindspots rooted in low emotional awareness and a limited ability to connect — which ultimately left his team unmotivated and disconnected.
→ Read the full case study: Vincente
Kimball was charismatic, bold, and capable of inspiring people when things were going well.
But under pressure, his emotional intensity spiked instantly. His tone sharpened. His frustration showed.
People flinched before he spoke.
He didn’t intend to intimidate anyone — but his alarming intensity and lack of emotional self-regulation created fear he couldn’t see. The team never knew which version of him they’d get, and psychological safety evaporated.
His blindspot: Kimball had emotional blindspots rooted in unrecognized anger, poor regulation, and an inability to understand the emotional impact he had on others.
Eventually, the instability caught up with him.
→ Read the full case study: Kimball
Vincente under-expressed emotion.
Kimball over-expressed it.
Both misread their emotional impact.
Both created environments people wanted to escape.
That’s what emotional blindspots look like — and it’s why emotional mastery matters so much.
Emotion is not optional. Emotion is not separate from leadership. Emotion is not “unprofessional.”
Emotion is always doing something. The only question is whether you know what it’s doing.
Emotional blindspots quietly shape:
People don’t remember your exact words.
They remember how you made them feel — and how you made them feel determined their performance.
Blindspotting Coaching develops leaders across all five stages:
Understand your capacity so you don’t run depleted.
Identify your emotional patterns before they take over.
Slow down, choose your response, and stay intentional.
Read cues and adjust your emotional presence.
Deploy emotion skillfully — to influence, inspire, and connect.
As Dubin writes:
“Emotional mastery is not about being more emotional. It’s about being aware.”
Leaders who build emotional mastery become grounded, steady, connected, and deeply effective.
Ask yourself:
Awareness — not perfection — is the beginning of mastery.
When leaders align emotional presence with emotional awareness, they become steady, influential, and deeply trusted.
Your emotional presence shapes your leadership more than strategy or execution.
If you’re ready to build emotional mastery — and uncover blindspots that may be holding you back — we can help.
→ Explore Blindspotting Coaching for Leaders & Teams
Blindspotting →Identity →Behaviors →Traits → Intellect → Emotion → Motive →
